Kinks in the Chain
by vampyremiyu
Summary: A follow-up to "Hot Chocolate and Strawberry Cake". Kyoya's at a loss. Can he deal with a little kink in his plans? Or will he end up hurting someone else in the process? KyoyaxTamaki with Mori/Haruhi implied. Oneshot.


KINKS IN THE CHAIN  
An Ouran High School Host Club fanfic

Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  
A follow-up to "Hot Chocolate and Strawberry Cake" and my second divergence into the yaoi portion of this fandom. keeps fingers crossed Kyoya's way of dealing with loss isn't the best way to deal with the problem. Especially if it hurts another in the process. WARNING for YAOI LEMONAIDE (about 99 pecent is IMPLIED, nothing terribly explicit). Kyoya x Tamaki pairing, with Mori + Haruhi implied. A Standard Disclaimer follows the story.

--

Where did I go wrong?

"What about this?"

"Yeah... That works."

This is not what I had intended.

"Should I?"

"Please..."

Nothing like I had planned.

"You okay?"

"Great."

But now it's all I have.

"Oh gods...!"

"Shhh...not so loud."

"I can't help it.

"Do you want me to gag you?"

"No!"

"Then be quiet."

"But...you feel SO good."

At least one of us should.

Of course, this situation is not without explanation. But it's difficult to put into words. I'm not used to losing control. Not used to losing in any aspect of the word, really. Yet, that's what happened.

'Thank you, but I can't.'

'Can't? Or won't?'

'Both.'

I put my emotions on the line, as well as my reputation. I told a girl that I was in love with her. Straight forward and direct. Definitely not the norm for me. Usually my motive is clouded by beautiful words or grandiose actions. Perhaps my gestures are not as grand as others, but I enjoy putting on a show as much as any of the other Host Club members.

Is it a crime that we earn a few extra dollars for our hard work?

'Haruhi, I--'

'I appreciate that you told me. Really. But I can't return your feelings.'

I wanted to say...SOMETHING...but nothing came to mind. My lips were parted but my tongue refused to move. Words poured through my brain, but none connected with my mouth.

I had honored her every wish. Had been overly patient in my opinion. Provided necessary essentials without hesitation or question. Promised her the world. I even agreed to pay off her debt to the Ouran Host Club for the vase she broke.

And she walked away.

'I'm sorry.'

All I could do was stare at her back as she left the Music Room. I'm not used to being speechless. It's very annoying.

'So am I.'

Perhaps I should raise her debt, instead. The club could use a financial boost for its next event. And with money, my mood would surely improve. I think everyone would appreciate that. I've been quite a "downer" as Tamaki would attest, and the customers can tell better than anyone.

'Thank you for understanding.'

'Ah...but I don't.'

'Huh?'

'I don't understand.'

No, such a tactic is not in good taste. I may be a sore loser, but I am not as evil as everyone likes to paint me. I prefer cunning and witty to be honest, but that never comes across as sweet and innocent. My showmanship is not that good. I'm used to being...stale, for lack of a better word. But I like to think that I have some creativity.

'Though, perhaps one day, I will.'

In the case of Haruhi Fujioka, I just wasn't creative enough.

'Thank you.'

Their interactions are like watching a well-choreographed opera. Riveting, yet entertaining. Oh, they think we don't know. But there's a definite change in atmosphere. Something dark, a shadow, has fallen over Music Room 3. We still function as a group. Individually, however, we're all crumbling.

When I'm able to sit back and see the situation from the outside, I can list all the reasons why they should be together. All the reasons why they get along so well. Takashi is quiet, but intelligent. He's much gentler than his posture would suggest. He has the patience of a god and the ability to reprimand without being harsh or unkind. His position as Huni's guardian has molded him into an ideal man. He is a man worth losing to.

Unlike me.

I'm not a horrible person, but I'm terribly competitive. My childhood...my life...has been nothing but one contest after another. I'm competing with two older brothers, after all. Only one of us can inherit father's business.

I was willing to set that aside for her. To make a life that would be comfortable for us both. Willing to change plans...and gears for a woman? Those who think they know me may laugh.

But those who I call friend know it's the truth.

"Go faster."

I would have had everything.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Kyoya..."

Now...I have nothing.

"Don't whine, Tamaki."

"Then don't tease me!"

Well, perhaps I do have something to fall back on.

"Don't yell either."

"whine Sorry."

What comfort I have comes in the form of unrequited love on the part of another. I accept his love, not because he gives it so readily, but because I need it so desperately. Losing Haruhi's affections to Morinozuka was a blow to my ego so big that I may never even overcome it. I will certainly never admit it.

But it is this man that will see me through.

Tamaki Suoh was devastated not once, but twice. He thought he had fallen in love with Haruhi. Felt enamored of her. Needed her steady presence and prude guidance. He felt what we all felt for Haruhi, but only a few of us acted on. Betrayal was the first to cross his mind when he realized that he and I were after the same goal. Put a small strain on our friendship.

And he was stunned when she refused us both.

He put aside his freshman fancy when it finally sunk in that he would never have her. He may not seem like a different man, but he is. More sure of himself. A better decision maker. Sort of. He's definitely more boisterous than ever, drawing in more and more customers. How and when it happened, I may never know.

All I know is that when I needed a friend, he was there.

"Fast enough for you, now?"

"Uh...yeah..."

The comfort is somewhat short lived. My sadness is compounded by the knowledge that our relationship will end too. I am grateful for his friendship. Even more so for his quick wit and silly mannerisms. The fact that he is a great sexual partner also makes the decision a difficult one. We need each other right now.

But what about the future?

Our world is not as simple as we want it to be. A real relationship would not survive the intense scrutiny of high society. In rare cases, it may be overlooked but it's still too dangerous...and far too shameful. In the end, it would destroy us both. Utterly and completely.

"Gods, Kyoya...I feel--"

"I know. huff Me too..."

Gods help me, I don't want to hurt him. But it must come to pass. This was not part of the plan either. Another kink in a chain of events that seem to be spiraling out of control. Hurting him sooner rather than later would be best.

"Harder...please..."

However, it would be uncouth to do so while having great sex. And I'm enjoying myself too much to stop now.

"I'm so close."

"Not just yet."

"But I can't--!"

"Just a little huff longer."

I wish we could stay in this fantasy forever. Sadly, it is impossible. The chain of events needs to be controlled and the kinks need to be worked out. Life must go on, no matter how painful.

"Don't...touch me...there!"

"But you feel so good."

"I won't hold...I can't--!"

I will continue to play my father's game.

"I'm...I'm..."

"That's right. Come for me."

"Oh...gods...AH!"

I will endeavor to be the best at everything I set out to do.

"Why is it we always make such a mess, Tamaki?"

"Because it's better that way."

"Is that so?"

"Oh, yes."

And I will always hold this man dear to my heart.

"Kyoya?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you. sigh I do."

"I know."

Those things are certain.

"Then you won't mind if I..."

"Hey!"

The future will decide the rest.

--OWARI--

DISCLAIMER:  
Ouran High School Host Club is a brilliant piece of work by creator Bisco Hatori. Originally published in 2003 by HAKUSENSHA, Inc., Tokyo, Japan, this masterpiece is being translated and published by VIZ Media for fans in America and Canada. I do not own a single piece of the characters used in this story. They were kidnapped and used here without permission.


End file.
